denise: besides, I heard that song was about his dog.
preston: it's not about a dog. It's about a woman named Amanda. Who the hell names their dog Amanda?
denise: my cousin had a dog name Samantha.
preston: shut up about the dog, OK?

just chatted with my brother...and he read my blog...then he said he'll bring me a pair of chuck taylor when he gets home by september...i said it was ok...but thought about it because he's giving me so much...and he's the one paying for my tuition this semester...and is paying for my dsl bill...so just wondered if he still has enough bucks for himself?

oh yeah, it's my grandma's bday now...so my mom visited her grave this afternoon...too bad didn't get to come with her to the cemetery...but i'll just pray for my grandma...but my grandma, she died when i was young...when i was in grade school...don't have any grandparents left now...both my dad's and my mom's side...

so boring here...still downloading naruto episodes...and then i'll watch them later...oh geez...i forgot to watch the OC last night...so i miss an episode...gosh!!!gotta wait for sunday for the replay...

My mommy found me
In my room on the floor
Before I did this
I put my "don't disturb" sign on my door
But now as she looks at me
With blood flowing from my wrist
She picks up a note
That reads something like this:

~Mom

I know I never told you
Never showed it on my face
But I'll tell you now
my life was a disgrace

I never planned a future
Cuz I knew my life would end
And now as I write this
You were my only friend

I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to break your heart
Just keep on living
And we'll never be apart

Tell daddy that I love him
Tell sis and brother to be brave
And promise me this on my birthday
Every year put a rose on my grave

I love you mommy very much
And when the others cry
Tell them I hated them all
Each cut will tell them why

I must go now mommy
Death is calling my name
And when you see me dead mom
Don't put on yourself the blame

I'm picking up the knife now mommy
These tears for you I cry
I just made the first cut mom
I guess now I'll say goodbye~

i think about yesterday
how we met and how we were
and now i miss
those times we shared together

i think about the past
how we laughed and how we cried
and now i miss
being always there by your side

i think about the memories
the moments that we were happy
and what i really miss
is you and your love for me

just got home...i ate dinner here but only just a few spoons since i don't like the food and i'm not hungry...so my dad went nuts again...he saw my pants are way down to the floor...so he said i should have it cut...but i didn't want to cause it will be shorter...and i'll look stupid if it would be...so i protested and he just went like "i won't buy things for you next time...that would be the last"...and i just ignored him and went straight to my room...well, that's life for me here...my parents just blabs about anything and everything they see...

oh it's almost 8 pm now...and that means only one thing...one tree hill!!!oh, it's one of my fave shows...i'm so madly inlove with the lucas-peyton thingy...but sad to say now on the show, they're going for lucas and brooke...but, as i've read from spoilers and episode guides that lucas and peyton are going to hook up again...oh can't wait to see that...LOL

what am i doing now?well, i'm collecting some icons...as you can see there's some icons here in my blog...uhm, two each post...one before and one after...so i'm an icon sucker...LOL...that's also a thing i crave here in the net...

got nothing to say here...it's 2:20 am...i don't have anything to write about...cause usually things and ideas pops out in my head...that's the root of all my poems or quotes...LOL...now, my head is blank...empty...couldn't think of anything right now...except getting more icons...LOL

i'll be heading to sleep in a couple of minutes...

surviving this pain would be a miracle,
but getting noticed and be loved is impossible...
no one can save me from this loneliness,
no one can give me happiness...

i fail from this so-called life,
now i'll cut myself with this knife...
cause there's no more reason for me to stay,
no reason to live my life one more day...

my life went dark when you left
i can't see a single thing
you were supposed to be my light
to guide me in everything

what a tragedy for me
when you left without a trace
i tried to find you everywhere
checking every single place

had i gone out of luck?
or is it just me you don't like?
maybe it's time to stop this sanity
and carry on to find a new light

oh just shut up,
HE said.
what is your problem?
SHE asked.

will you leave me alone?
He raised an eyebrow.
what's wrong with you?
SHE looked worried.

i said leave me alone,
HE said.
what's wrong with us?
SHE kept asking.

look bitch, stay out of my way!
HE shouted.
don't you love me anymore?
SHE starts crying.

words hurt but please be gentle in answering,
SHE weeps.
He then walks away and turned around
just to give her a fuck u sign...

-jown

first day of school would be a week from now...so i'm excited bout that...who would be?after staying at home for a year and two summers?LOL...i'm even excited to hold a pen and write...LOL...it's funny right?yeah, that was my life...my parents let me quit school because i was a pain on the ass...my dad had enough of me, fooling around and not getting serious bout my studies...so i learned my lesson pretty dumb well...LOL

so i think after going to mass later (since it's already sunday now)...maybe we'll go shop...i'll try to beg to my dad about some new clothes...but shoes??nah, don't think so...my mom would go ballistic if i ask for new shoes...LOL...she would go like "no new shoes...you have tons of shoes at home...waiting to be washed..."LOL

and as i was thinking...uhm, how bout a nice expensive pen for the semester...LOL...and what about a nice binder or a notebook?oh i know my future notebook would only be a disaster...it will only be filled by my stupid cartoon drawings and letterings...and even cellphone nos...how's that?LOL

anyways, thinking bout this makes me more excited...but i came to think about it, i would really miss hanging out in my room since i will be out...

so many tears i've wasted
i feel so damn alone
so many years i've waited
seems no one is home

oh it sucks to live like this
when all your dreams are gone
everything ended with a kiss
now there's no more fun

i know you're sorry for me
but don't be for i don't want you to
i don't need your pity
cause you see me feeling so blue

oh shut up and kiss my ass
you broke my heart and you feel sorry?
now you're just something in my past
cause i wanna move on and be free

so get out of my life
i don't wanna see you anymore
get out of my sight
there's the open door

it's pinoy big brother's last eviction night...hmmm...who will be evicted...and who'll be in the big four...

and shox!!!mikee got in...no way...grrrrrrrr...anyways, clare got in also...kim, of course...but wtf!!!don't tell me mami jam would be evicted...oh ampness!!!

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